No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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