im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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