This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
