It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
