So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
