i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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