I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
