Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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