five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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