he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
