Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
