He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
