she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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