Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
