please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
