i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
