Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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