i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
