just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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