you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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