did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
