Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
