Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
