its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
did i just pee glitter
he just fucked me for my cheese..
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
