Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
