I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
