if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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