I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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