Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
