FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
