We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
