I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
