So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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