dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
that may or may not have been my penis.
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