i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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