so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
