my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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