I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
