Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
