I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I currently don't understand fingers.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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