Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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