you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
