Only a mothe r could love this liver
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
