Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
