life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
