so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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