I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
