is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
