When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
