Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
