spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
