are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
