are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
