Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
