ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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