i just wanna soil my oats bro
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
