There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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