mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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