thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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