i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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