Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
