Farmville is her only friend.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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