hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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