Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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