as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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