Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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