Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
