you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
