how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
