i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
