His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
