Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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