Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
